Monday, January 4, 2010

Scientific Faith

"I know Ur-Zhul is real," Ely said, her face set in concentration. "I know he loves us. I know he died for us."

 "But?" Sven asked.

 "But ever since he came back, with all his flesh rotten and a persistent desire for brains, I feel it's just not been the same," Ely concluded sadly.

 "Braiins," Ur-Zhul moaned from below the makeshift barricade Ely and Svet had hurriedly blocked the float-shaft with.

 Ely looked at Svet. Svet looked at Ely.

 "Perhaps we can pacify him with some choice vhul-meat?" Svet suggested.

 "Worth a shot," Ely agreed.

 They pulled vhul-meat from the kitchen wormhole. They heated it. ("Mmm!" Ely said, sniffing the air. "Smells good!") They threw it through the barricade, watching a faint blue glow surround it as it floated down.

 There was a damp squelching noise - as of meat landing on housecoral - then munching noises - then another squelch.

 "Well?" Svet whispered.

 "Braiiiiins," Ur-Zhul moaned unhappily.

 Ely and Svet settled down to think a little more.

 "Maybe some zugwurtz pudding, molded into the shape of a brain?" Ely proposed.

 They pulled a can of zugwurtz from the wormhole. They poured it into a brain-shape mold the household AI (thoughtfully!) fabricated for them. They watched it cool. Then they tossed it down the float-shaft!

Flutter, flutter, flutter, went the zugwurtz-brain.


 Nom nom nom.


 "BRAAAAAAAAAAINS!" Ur-Zhul wailed.

 "Maybe having our own personal savior (back from the grave!) wasn't the best Vingemass wish after all," Ely speculated.


  1. There were some very strange girls on my airplane flight, sitting on the same row. They creeped me out.

    Also, I don't hate Jesus. I hate zombies.

    The record is now set straight.