Monday, January 4, 2010

Scientific Faith

"I know Ur-Zhul is real," Ely said, her face set in concentration. "I know he loves us. I know he died for us."

 "But?" Sven asked.

 "But ever since he came back, with all his flesh rotten and a persistent desire for brains, I feel it's just not been the same," Ely concluded sadly.

 "Braiins," Ur-Zhul moaned from below the makeshift barricade Ely and Svet had hurriedly blocked the float-shaft with.

 Ely looked at Svet. Svet looked at Ely.

 "Perhaps we can pacify him with some choice vhul-meat?" Svet suggested.

 "Worth a shot," Ely agreed.

 They pulled vhul-meat from the kitchen wormhole. They heated it. ("Mmm!" Ely said, sniffing the air. "Smells good!") They threw it through the barricade, watching a faint blue glow surround it as it floated down.

 There was a damp squelching noise - as of meat landing on housecoral - then munching noises - then another squelch.

 "Well?" Svet whispered.

 "Braiiiiins," Ur-Zhul moaned unhappily.

 Ely and Svet settled down to think a little more.

 "Maybe some zugwurtz pudding, molded into the shape of a brain?" Ely proposed.

 They pulled a can of zugwurtz from the wormhole. They poured it into a brain-shape mold the household AI (thoughtfully!) fabricated for them. They watched it cool. Then they tossed it down the float-shaft!

Flutter, flutter, flutter, went the zugwurtz-brain.

 Splat.

 Nom nom nom.

 Splat.

 "BRAAAAAAAAAAINS!" Ur-Zhul wailed.

 "Maybe having our own personal savior (back from the grave!) wasn't the best Vingemass wish after all," Ely speculated.

2 comments:

  1. There were some very strange girls on my airplane flight, sitting on the same row. They creeped me out.

    Also, I don't hate Jesus. I hate zombies.

    The record is now set straight.

    ReplyDelete